How are you?

I’m back at this blog again… (like finally)

It’s been a year…

I have grown, mentally and physically(*cough cough*).

But somehow, I don’t feel happy.

Life has been the same,

and so is work.

and the same problems still exist.

Has communication always been a barrier for you?

For me? Yes.

I feel so down because of communication breakdown.

Why is it so difficult to talk?

or should I say: why is it so difficult to listen?

I have been saying the same thing over and over again, to the same people.

Yet, there is no outcome, no results, no signs of improvement.

Again and again, I feel so disappointed.

I listened, I bear your words in mind and heart.

Yet, you brushed off the words I want to tell you.

It’s just like talking to a wall.

The words bounced back and hit me badly.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

Not too looking forward to, I guess.

A few reasons:

First, it’s a Monday, and I’m working on my birthday.

Second, there’s no point staying at home with family, as my brother is having his A levels.

Third, my dad has to work, my mum will be busy with her usual routine of household chores and my sister is going for BBQ session at her friend’s place.

Kinda sad, I like birthdays. But not this way.

This year, I have passed a year, without any achievements, without any dreams.

I dare not to hold on to any dreams anymore, including media.

I feel like I have been slapped awake, perhaps media is not suitable for me.

Even so, I’m in a dilemma for so long, I’m still at the same spot.

But I’m still lost, not knowing where to go.

Without realising, I have been working in DiD for 6months already, since May.

Even though, I’m of a higher position now, I feel no excitement.

After internship, I have learnt a lot.

But going back to the same place, I cannot achieve anything anymore.

DiD is too sheltered.

And I can’t learn.

Cos I’m too familiar with the work.

It’s so much like a routine now, I feel as though I’m useless.

My contract is ending end of December.

So, should I renew my contract for another 6 months?

Uni application is opening in Jan next year.

Should I go apply?

What should I apply?

I have seen the cut-off points for this year, and realised my grades are not good enough to go in.

For both Chinese and Communication Studies.

So, should I apply for uni again?

20 years old, more responsibilities, more expectations and more problems.

I don’t wish to grow up.

But still,

Happy Birthday to me and to other November babies!

每一天，有许多人经过，他们只是匆忙走过的路人罢了。

也有一些人进去这家店，但只是看看而已。过后就没有再出现。

当然，还是有忠实的顾客，经常光顾这家店。

虽然如此，随着时间一点一滴地过，一些顾客不再光顾这家店。

就这样，每年每月每日每时每分每秒，

有新的顾客上门光顾，有旧的顾客离开。

而你，是属于哪一种顾客呢？

人与人之间的关系，可能看似坚固，但它非常地脆弱。

因为，我们永远不知道下一秒会发生什么事。

或许，我们会因为一些事情而变得要好。

经常见面、聊天。

又或许，我们会因为关系破裂而从此不再联络。

再也没有你的消息。

但我还是我坚信着真诚对人的理念，虽然很容易受伤。

没关系。

或许，我对你来说，只是呼之则来，挥之则去的方便朋友。

又或许，我们曾经那么要好，却因为路不一样了，最终还是分开了。

但我还是很开心能够交到你这个朋友。

谢谢你曾经光顾过这家店。

如果有一天，

这家店，最终关门大吉了，

你还会记得这家店吗？还是早就忘记了这家店曾经存在呢？

天气转凉了。

温暖也走了。

朋友都开始新的旅程，

我还站在原地。

有些冷。有些孤单。

err… ya, it’s a bit dead now…

hmm, so how’s life ar?

Not really happening though,

I’m just working, working, working.

No life right?

Last friday, I went to Marina Square Super Bowl with my DiD mates.

It’s been some time since I last bowled.

It was fun!

But too bad, I didn’t break 100 points for my part.

My highest score that day was 89.

Aiyoh, getting from bad to worse.

Took lots of photos with Joshua’s new camera.

You can go Facebook to see the photos!

Anyway,

Many has been asking me about university thing.

Please stop asking me. ):

Yes, I’m not going to university now.

But that doesn’t mean I am not going at all.

Yes, I’m working now.

Even though it has nothing to do with my media dream.

And yes, I’m abit lost right now.

But I’m sure with your support,

I will find a way.

So friends, thank you for being there for me. (:

and yes, I’m still finding the real me.

原来我的一举一动，竟然能让人感到反感。

我不知道，

我，并不是我。

我好像把原来的自己给弄不见了。

有谁可以帮我，把我找回来吗？

Going for FIR concert TONITE!!

with Leslie and WeiLang!

woohoo!

hahahaha

and I will see Zhiying later!

woohoo!

taking half-day off today…

=p

tata~~

2 weeks has only passed in June and I have already spent quite a lot of money!

on movies, dinners and presents.

oh yah!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL JUNE BABIES! ^^v

oh, did I mention the results of the DJ competition?

ya, I didn’t get into the top 20s.

it’s okie… to be one of the top 20s among almost 200 participants was not easy.

I still got nervous when I stood on the stage.

It’s really scary… >.<

Thanks Winanto and Leilei-chan for making the board. it was beautiful. (:

Thanks Sin Theng, Belle, YuanYuan, Yong Sheng and Chen Zhihui to come down and support me. ^^

Watched Sex and the City 2 with my dears: TASZEMIAN, GOH WANYAN and ONG ZHIHUI!

The movie is hilarious!

I just love the clothes they are wearing.

So gorgeous!

So pretty!

It’s really like in paradise.

and it seems so far away.

Shrek Forever After is a funny movie.

I watched it with ’06, a gathering cum celebrating Kai Ning’s Birthday.

In the movie, Shrek went back to the time when he was (or not) born.

Things were not the same anymore.

Hmm… If I were to go back to my past,

Would I have lesser regrets?

Would I learn a lot more?

Would I be a better person?

hmm…

Well, Shrek the movie is a great movie! (:

Went to Zhiying’s birthday party at Downtown East on 9th June.

Had BBQ and I stayed over at the chalet.

Girls’ talk with Zhiying and Vivian.

So fun!

^^v

Sang KBox with Zijie and Moni on 10th June. (like finally.)

Sang many songs with them.

I got to sing “GET DOWN DOWN DOWN” lor!

So happy to sing that!

heehee xD

Got to control my spending now,

at least until I got my pay.

haha =p

Guess I will just stay at home and read the manga online.

=p

I am recently hooked on to Full Metal Alchemist!

The story is super intense and I can’t stop reading it.

I love the part where it is telling us about Alchemy and the nature.

What goes round comes round.

Creation = destruction.

That’s the balance of Alchemy.

and the nature of life.

Go read it everyone!

Oh my,

What a HAPPENING JUNE!

Oh!

HAPPY OTO-SAN’S (FATHER’S) DAY! ^^v

也许因为这样，没有人愿意聆听，聆听者的故事。

当聆听者问最近过得怎么样，没有人可以好好地回答她。

当聆听者说话时，没有人好好地听她说完。

当聆听者心情不好时，没有人来关心她。

聆听者很伤心，她的心真的受伤了。

在那一刻，她知道，

她是一个人，

一直以来都是一个人。

这也许，就是聆听者的悲哀。

聆听者并不奢望有人了解她、关心她，

但她还是希望能够找到他的聆听者，

聆听她的故事。

HAHA!

That’s right, a radio station DJ!

and right now, I’m going to make a BIG step to my DREAM! ^^

There’s a DJ competition, organized by Y.E.S. 93.3FM, at Jurong Point today!

So wish me luck friends!

(:

I will definitely do my best!

JIAYOU LAI SING YEE!

“机会是给懂得把握它的人。-小白”